Things I don't like about Monica...

In the following is a list of things I don't like about myself.

The first and biggest thing I don't like is my weight. I know that in itself is another issue and has been my entire life. I don't like that I don't want to change my thinking when it comes to eating disorders. I don't like that I still think about self-mutilation on occasion. I don't like the scars. I don't like how I'm afraid to fully open up to someone. I don't like how I get to know someone on a real level and then grow an attachment. I don't like how much of a procrastinator I am. I don't like that I've dropped SO many classes during college. I don't like how I let some things really get under my skin. I don't like how passive I can be. I don't like how messy I am (apartment, car, paperwork, etc...). I don't like how I've complained about people I care about. I don't like how jealous I can be. I don't like when I get snobbish. I don't like when I am feeling a certain emotion towards someone and don't tell them. I don't like my nose. I don't like when I get anxious, because I then get frustrated and angry. I HATE being angry. I don't like how when I feel rejected I blame myself. I don't like when I say I'm going to do something and never get around to doing it. I don't like that I start books and read it off and on for months. I don't like how dramatic I can get. I don't like how I always want and try to "better" myself, and still am the same person I don't like. I don't like how indecisive I am. I don't like when I am hateful to my family. I don't like how I've turned down amazing opportunities in my life. I don't like how stubborn I can get. I don't like when I get irritable towards people who have nothing to do with the reason I'm irritated. I don't like that don't like that I can't accept a compliment properly. I don't like the feeling that I know so little. I don't like when I disappoint people. I don't like when I disappoint myself. I don't like when I do something, but know I shouldn't. I don't like how I treated Jessica, my best friend from middle school and part of high school. I don't like how I don't feel good enough, ever. I don't like how I don't give enough compliments. I don't like when I forget how fortunate I am and how grateful I should be. I don't like when I'm hypocritical. I don't like when I can't stand my ground. I don't like how much I regret things. I don't like that I don't create art anymore. I don't like how I'm becoming so disassociative with most people, I feel less human. I don't like when I binge. I don't like my irrational fears that I know are irrational. I don't like when I get angry towards a stranger. I don't like when I beat myself up. I don't like when I don't like or hate myself.

Love,
Yourself

PS I'm sure there are many, many other things I don't like about myself, but that's all that came to my mind just now.